Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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