Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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