Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
