Well apparently he's into motor boating.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
