Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
