dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
