Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
