Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
