So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
