I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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