fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We had sex on a dog bed..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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