Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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