I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
