That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
