It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
