we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
