i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
