i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
