So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
