So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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