I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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