the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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