did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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