Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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