that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
