ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
