Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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