I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
