Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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