I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
