The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
