maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
