how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
