This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
