That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
