addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
