I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
