he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
