just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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