walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
