I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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