community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
