so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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