Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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