Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
