Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
