I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
