How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
