just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
