I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
